


I Can't Believe I Never Said

by justtheaveragefangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x23, M/M, almost confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 19:44:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10951443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justtheaveragefangirl/pseuds/justtheaveragefangirl
Summary: There were no words to even try to express how he was feeling at this moment. Time stopped to shove the facts in his face. His best friend was lying on the ground, and the imprint of wings confirmed it.





	I Can't Believe I Never Said

**Author's Note:**

> I was sitting on my floor in emotional distress when I realized that I had to write something about it.
> 
> This is unbetaed, so it might suck a little, but whatever.

There were no words to even try to express how he was feeling at this moment. Time stopped to shove the facts in his face. His best friend was lying on the ground, and the imprint of wings confirmed it. Cas was dead, and Dean didn’t know what to do.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean heard Sam walk away. He knew there was a reason, but he didn’t care what was happening anymore. He couldn’t bring himself to move.

It wasn’t fair. That was all he could think. It was not fair. All Cas ever did was what he thought was the right thing. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve half the things that had happened.

“Why do you always do this,” Dean was asking before he realized he was speaking, “Why do you always have to leave? I just got you back, Cas.”

He shook his head, “You’ve always been an idiot, haven’t you? I never cared that you were doing all this stupid shit for me. I cared that you were getting hurt. I cared that you weren’t okay.”

He took a shaky breath, “It’s too much. I was okay when we found out Rowena was dead. I was fine when Crowley sacrificed himself for the sake of a distraction. I can even live with losing my mom again. But losing you, Cas,” he paused, “You were my best friend. You were my best friend for eight years, and that’s if we’re not counting my year away from hunting and Purgatory. I can’t lose you now. I can’t deal with a Nephilim. I could barely take care of Kevin, and he was an almost normal fully grown adult.” He shook his head again, “It’s too much. Too much for me and Sam to take care of on our own. We need you. I probably need you more than he does.”

Dean looked over Cas’s body again and sighed. “I don’t think I noticed until just now, but I’ve probably always known in the back of my head. I should tell you now before Sam come barreling out with our next problem, but I can’t bring myself to. I guess I can’t say it knowing you can’t say it back.” Dean sighed a laugh, “Ya know, I can’t believe I never said-”

Just then, Sam came through the front door of that stupid little cabin. “Dean,” he said, “You gotta see this.”


End file.
